Category Archives: POV

Point of View Problems (Blog 1 of Several)

by
Charlotte Firbank-King

If you ever wonder if you’re using point of view (POV) correctly, put yourself in the character’s head and ask yourself if you can see what you implied the character can see. For example, you can’t see colour creep into your cheeks, but you can feel the heat of a blush. You can’t see yourself paling, but you can feel blood drain from your face. In short, always go into your character’s head. One can use mirrors, windows, or any reflective surface to see the character’s image and explain it.

Example A:

Nathan’s wife coughed and he hastily wiped a spot of blood from her lips, trying to hide the evidence. But she saw it and, for the first time, fear flickered in her eyes. Unable to bear seeing her pain and now fear, he dragged himself from her deathbed and leaned on her dresser, then lifted his head and stared at his image in an ornate mirror. Dark shadows underscored his sunken eyes, and deep lines drew his wide mouth down. He tried to smooth his tousled black hair. He was strong, but was he strong enough to bear losing her? In reality, what use was his immense size and strength in the face of death? 

There you have it all—how he feels, where he is, and how he looks. However, don’t overuse this ploy. Have another character tell you what the reader wants to know, like in this second example.


Example B:

She coughed and tried to wipe her mouth. Nathan leaned over and gently wiped her lips. She caught sight of a crimson stain of blood on the handkerchief that he tried so hard to hide. For the first time, fear rippled through her. So this was the end. She touched his haggard cheeks, hating that dark shadows underscored his sunken eyes, and deep lines drew his wide mouth down—a mouth always so ready to smile. She tried to smooth his tousled black hair. “Be brave, my darling husband.” But in reality, what use was his immense size and strength in the face of death?

With the second way, one has fewer words and you can add a bit more about his character, like the fact that he smiles readily. He would not necessarily see himself like that.

Then there is the other POV problem—head hopping. I know the feeling of wanting to see and feel everything from each characters head, but it makes a reader’s head spin until they are so confused they have no idea who is feeling and saying what.

Stay in one character’s head for at least a page, preferably a chapter or at least until there is a radical day or scene change.

If you really need to go into another character’s head mid-scene, then you need “permission.” Have the character touch some part of their body, preferably the head, like brushing back their hair or rubbing the back of their neck. Then the reader is drawn to that action and their attention is on that character. But this is not ideal. One can always convey how the other character feels with body language.

If you are truly confounded, you can always contact a helpful editor at IFW at IFWeditors@gmail.com for assistance.

Those Confusing Acronyms


by Charlotte Firbank-King

When editors work they make reams of comments and, coupled with deletions and format changes, it makes a manuscript look like an unmade jigsaw puzzle that the writer is expected to wade through and make sense of. To compound this we add acronyms that confuse the heck out of even the most determined and dedicated writer.


I’ve made a list of the ones I like to use:
MS – Manuscript
This is what we call a story that has not yet been polished or published.
POV – Point of view
POV is the character whose head the writer is in at any given time, the one seeing or experiencing what is being described by the author.
HH – head-hop
This is when the writer switches POV without leading into it. An example is when X character sees a pink moon rising, then in the next sentence have Y character thinks X is nuts because it’s clearly a pink bunny in the sky.
RUE – resist the urge to explain
When the author has conveyed through actions or words that the character is angry, for example, and they tack on something like, “he said in a rage.”
ID – Information drop
Writers have a tendency to use internal dialogue or flashbacks as a way to inform the reader of why a character is the way they are or why they find themselves in a certain situation. I will write a separate blog on this subject.
RUL – Resist the urge to lecture
Writers don’t give readers the respect of assuming they have a brain and, therefore, feel the need to explain everything in detail. It comes over as a lecture and will likely render the reader bored to death. I will also write a blog on this.
ATS – avoid thumbnail sketches
When internal or external dialogue is used to give the reader details about a character, thing or situation. “I love his black hair and blue eyes and the dimple in his chin is to die for, but he’s so screwed up. His mother beat him daily with a powder puff from the day he was born in 1988 in a hole under Westminster Abbey.” It’s similar to ID. I will also do a blog on this.

“graph or graf” – paragraph

This isn’t an acronym, but it’s commonly used slang that editors use for “paragraph.” It’s quicker and reduces some of the clutter in those sidebar comments.