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The Verbosity Cure

by
Charlotte Firbank-King


We all know how to tell a story. But just because anthropologists say Homo sapiens (Latin: wise man—but that’s debatable given the state of our planet) are storytelling apes, doesn’t mean we know how to transfer a story to paper. An articulate person with a mellifluous voice can make a good story sound great. But once we put pen to paper, we must follow the rules of the craft.

First, GRAMMAR.

Creative writers are allowed some license to tweak and reshape the content to convey a meaning, but we need to learn the rules and correct use of grammar before we get the badge allowing us to modify those rules. If you don’t have a solid understanding of grammar, take a class or do some studying on your own. Nothing will kill a story faster than poor grammar or punctuation.

Now, WORDS:

Use the KISS principle—Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Examine each sentence with the diligence of a hobo sifting through a garbage can. If a paragraph uses five words, cut it down to two or three. If you’ve taken half a page to convey an image, cut it down to ten or fifteen words. If absolutely necessary, you can add a few more words later.

Read a section aloud. Do you trip over words? Or did you use rhymes or alliteration that draws the reader’s attention away from the story?

Then ask someone to read it aloud to you. If he stumbles or has to read a section again, there’s probably a problem with how a sentence or paragraph was constructed. Then listen carefully to how he reads it and take note. People often, subconsciously, translate written words from how they are written to how they are said comfortably or smoothly.

Examine every sentence in this manner. If even one sentence doesn’t pass muster, the whole scene could fall flat.

Words should be chosen because they express a meaning, not because they impress readers. Readers don’t care that you spent hours going through a thesaurus looking for the most impressive word to show how literate you are. Individual words should never draw attention to themselves or be more important than the story. Your reader JUST WANTS A STORY that doesn’t require a dictionary to decipher the words used to tell it.

Make every word count, and I mean EVERY word. There is no such thing as, “Oh, that will do.” Edit and edit again, making sure you’ve said what needs to be said using the exact right words to say it.

When conveying an emotion, again, brevity is the key.

His eyebrows dipped, and his eyes flashed as his mouth tightened to a hard line.

We get it. He’s angry.

His mouth tightened or His eyes flashed or He glared will convey the same message and we’ve cut our description from fifteen words to two or three. It may not sound as impressive, but that’s where creativity comes in. Find your own way to say it using as few words as possible.

Conjunctions are invisible words, but even those can exhaust a reader.

The old man walked along the road, and every step seemed to jar his body, and he was also weary to the depths of his disturbed soul as his rheumy eyes shifted back and forth across the verge.
Instead, say:

Shoulders slumped, the old man shuffled along the road, his rheumy eyes searching the verge.

Let your writing speak for itself. If the old man’s shoulders are slumped, then he’s despondent. Shuffling indicates possible pain or weariness. It’s not that difficult to cut this sentence from thirty-eight words to fifteen—and we could even dump “his” if we wanted.

Edit. Then edit again and again. Eliminate as many unnecessary words as possible, especially the easy ones like “that” and “had.”

Test yourself—pick any paragraph from your manuscript, count the words, then see how many you can remove and still convey your meaning. Go one step further and take out all the adjectives and adverbs. Then put one or two back. In other words, slim the paragraph to an anorexic state, then fatten it slightly to perfection.

Verbose means using more words than needed to express something. Don’t let your precious story suffer from verbosity.

Remember, we have professional editors on staff who can help you recover from a severe case of verbosity. It’s what we do.

Sneaking in Exercise

by
The IFW Editors

Want to eavesdrop on our Inspiration for Writers’ editors? We asked our editors to tell us how they sneak in exercise during their work day. To protect the innocent—or the guilty, as the case may be—we’ve hidden the contributors’ names. Here’s what happened:

Intern J: Remember when we talked about exercises you can do at your desk (in addition to other healthy writing habits)? Can you guys respond to this email with your desk exercise suggestions? Thanks!

Editor R: I don’t believe I ever consciously think of exercising when I’m writing. I tend to have many interruptions, anyway (kiddo, cats, husband—Can you come hold the ladder for me? Where did you put my whatever?—telephone, dryer buzzer, doorbell), so I’m up and down fairly often, anyway. And then there’s refilling my coffee cup, which is a frequent demand. When I’m writing my own stories, however, I intentionally get up and walk away after every scene. Whether it’s a page, a chapter, or whatever, I walk away for a moment. I think about the scene, make sure it’s what I want it to be, and then I think about the next scene—envision the setting, listen to the sounds there, consider the character’s voice and how the tone should sound different than it did in the last scene. This may take five minutes or a couple of hours—which is likely why it takes me so long to write! I suppose I’m just too hyperactive to stay seated for very long, but at-the-desk exercise has never been an issue with me.

Editor S1: I sometimes use an exercise ball for a chair at my desk. If I swap it out for my chair even for an hour or two, I find I’m not only more comfortable, but I get more accomplished in that time. Active sitting is so much better for my lower back and hips.

Editor S2: I also sit on an exercise ball at work. And do forearm stretches to stretch those carpels by pushing one of my hands up or down with the other hand.

Editor D: Just last year, I started running around my building once an hour, and it has made a difference—and I might add it’s helpful to have a dog that could benefit from this type of exercise too.

Editor X: I do what I call “60-second exercises.” Every time I get up—which I try to do at least once an hour—I set the timer for one minute and do some kind of exercise for that one minute. It might be jumping jacks, toe touches, lunges, whatever, but those 60-seconds add up over a day’s time.

Editor D: Get those shoulders loosened up by reaching for the sky and performing a satisfying stretch. Lock your fingers together while you’re up there and try to bring your arms behind your head as far as possible. I have a big thick rubber band (my massage therapist gives them out, about an inch wide and a foot in circumference) that I use to aid in this endeavor if I’m not too tired/lazy to reach for the rubber band. One simply hooks a finger into each side of the rubber band and does the same stretch only with the rubber band.

Editor X: I do a similar stretch. With my arms over my head, I bend from the waist to the left, to the right, forward and backward. And then do it again. And again. And again.

Editor D: One thing to perhaps add is the importance of stretching any which way you can—not only back and shoulders, but legs and arms. It can be hard to type while in a fancy yoga position, but sometimes I read while doing a simple one. One more thing I love to do: if one gets/has a big, thick rubber band, one can use it to aid in arm stretches and even muscle building while one sits (pulling the rubber band apart at chest level and also with arms straight up, or even trying to go back over your head). Also, I think people overlook the simple stretch of turning your head slowly to the side, as if you’re trying to look over your shoulder, and holding that position for a few seconds (then, of course, do the other side).

Editor X: Oh, yeah. That turning of the head feels great! Thanks.

Editor C: I have a parrot in my care who keeps trying to go for the cat, who is an ace bird catcher, so that keeps me leaping up to stop the parrot from testing the cat. Therefore, I recommend a ball chair, one parrot, one cat, daily exercise, children under the age of ten who constantly need attention, and a beagle who steals food off a kitchen counter—those few additional practices should keep muscles going.

Editor D: Editor C, except for the parrot, I’m right there with you. Oh, and instead of a sweet little beagle, imagine a Jack Russell-mix who eats everything from earplugs to bandaids—unless she’s burying them in the potted plants.

Editor C: Our beagle also steals cell phones and any other electrical appliance (that has good lifespan extension of warranty to it) he can get his teeth on—oh and he loves unwrapping toilet rolls and dragging the whole unraveled roll around the house. He tears up used tissues—gross, and underwear from the laundry bin are his favorite—barf!

Intern J: Exercises, guys! Exercises! C’mon. Focus!

Editor D: Sometimes my exercise routine at the end of the day consists of twisting bathtub knobs and squeezing a bottle of Sage/Lavender/Take Your Pick Calm and Relax bubble bath.

Editor C: Okay, here is my exercise after a long day of editing or writing. I get up off my ergonomically designed PC chair and walk to a cabinet. I uncork a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, pick up a glass with my left hand, pour a Jack with my right, then down said Jack. If the day was filled with really bad/difficult writing, I down a second Jack—or more—gotta keep exercising those arms. Then I’ll pour a third Jack, meander to the refrigerator, pop in some ice, wander back to my ergonomically designed chair, put up my feet and review the edit with new, somewhat tipsy eyes and finally get to have a good laugh, cry or laugh until I cry, depending on how many Jacks I’ve actually had. So I exercise my tear ducts as well—needed to do that all day.

Editor R: We have a similar exercise regimen, Editor C. Except my personal trainer is Jack’s Latino cousin, José.

Intern J: Okay, you people are funny, and I hate to be a stick-in-the-mud, but does anyone have any other real desk exercises or stretches they do? We have a blog to get out.

Editor G: This may be a generational thing, Intern J. I think some of us “oldies” started this work before anyone decided we needed desk exercises. Whoever heard of such a thing? Now we’re the victims of old bad habits and don’t even know any desk exercises. Except that elbow-bending one Editor C mentioned.

Editor R: I’m with Editor G. The only desk exercise I do is getting up when the dryer buzzer goes off, or to refill my coffee mug, or to let the cats in—and out—and in—and out—and . . . you get it.

Editor C: I’m with both of you. In the naughty corner.

Intern J: *sigh*

Healthy Writing Habits

by
Sandy Tritt



I finish my day at 6 p.m. My eyes are dry and tired. My shoulders ache. My wrists are sore. My legs ache. In fact, it seems like every bone and every tissue in my body is screaming. Sitting for eight-to-ten hours while moving nothing other than my fingers is hard on my body—much harder than most people realize. Writing—and editing—is not for sissies. However, it doesn’t have to be this hard on us. How can we make it easier? Here’s a rundown by body part.

EYES. I have special computer glasses that have large lenses and plastic frames. They aren’t pretty and they aren’t stylish, but they sure are practical. My optometrist has formulated them to be perfect for my vision for the exact distance between my eyes and my laptop screen—a formula that is slightly different than the “reading” view of my bifocals—and I don’t have to tilt my neck to see through that tiny square.

My optometrist also advised that I must—not that I should, but that I must—look off into the distance at least every 30 minutes, for at least 15 seconds. Fortunately, I sit near French doors with a view of trees, so I can look at those trees. It doesn’t matter what we see, but we need to focus on something at a distance to give our eyes a little rest.

Finally, I keep a damp washcloth in a sandwich baggie next to me. Once or twice a day, I toss a small ice cube in as well. Every hour or so—especially in the afternoons when my eyes feel stressed—I take a five minute break and put the damp washcloth over my eyes. I avoid eye drops because they tend to make my eyes drier soon after using. But the cold, wet washcloth hydrates my eyes and reduces swelling. It’s my mini-vacation and helps me to keep on chugging along.

WRISTS. Anyone who sits at a keyboard all day knows how hard typing is on our wrists. Many suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome. After much experimentation, I found a lap desk that is the exact right height for my laptop, allowing my wrists to rest at a level equal to my elbows. There are many exercises and suggestions on the web for coping with carpal tunnel. I find that when my wrist first begins to ache, I wear a wrist brace to bed. Sometimes, I even wear a less-restricting one while working. And, of course, I make sure my wrists are supported and not just dangling in mid-air. It’s much easier to heal from slight stress than it is full-blown carpal tunnel, so listen to your body, research the web, and nip this condition before it starts.

SHOULDERS/BACK. My shoulders and sometimes my back often feel the stress of my chair-potato career. Every morning, I stretch before beginning work. Additionally, I stretch every hour (yes, all those health professionals recommend it’s critically important to get up and move around at least once an hour). The stretches that work for me may not work for you, but if you search the web for “stretches for back and shoulders” you’ll find quite a few to choose from. And, yes, DO get up every hour and walk around a bit.

I’m fortunate that my neighbor is a splendid massage therapist (Thanks, Shelly!), so I also visit her whenever my aches don’t disappear after a good night’s sleep. A good massage can rub away those aches and make us feel (almost) brand new again. Finally, I sometimes use a rice-bag shoulder pillow, which wraps around my neck and provides a bit of weight that feels blissful—especially if I toss the thing in the microwave for a minute beforehand.

LEGS. Sitting for hours with our legs dangling or square in front of us can cause stress both on our legs and lower backs. Try changing your posture frequently, and sometimes use a footstool (or box) on which to rest your legs. Also switch out the chair you work in, perhaps going from the standard office chair to an ergonomic variety—and back again. It is the variety of positions that is important. Most of the time, I work from a La-Z-Boy, which keeps my legs up and elevated—and provides the perfect resting place for my special kitty. One of our editors suggests sitting on an exercise ball for an hour or two a day. It will stretch and challenge various muscles while allowing you to get some work done. Regardless of where you sit, be sure to get up and move—and stretch—at least once an hour.

Writing and editing—or any other job that requires super-gluing your butt to a chair and not moving for hours at a time—can be harder on your body than earning your keep by muscle power. However, if you force yourself to take frequent breaks (set an alarm, if you need to, as sometimes we get so involved in our work we forget about time), change your posture often, and find the equipment that works best for you, you can end your workday with enough energy to enjoy the evening hours.

Good luck—and keep writing!

UPDATE: I sent this blog out to our editors—as I do with everything before it’s published—and they responded with so many tips on how to sneak in a bit of exercise while working at a desk that we decided to do a second blog on, well, sneaking in exercise while you work. Look for it to appear in the near future.

“I’ll Throw It Out There and See What Happens”

by
Hope Clark


For the third time in as many weeks, an author has picked my brain about how I write (daily), how I edit (daily), and how often I market (daily), then said they prefer to be a hobbyist. They cannot afford to invest the time into a book like I do, don’t care to hire a graphic artist for the cover, prefer not to hire an editor, and don’t belong to a critique group . . . so they’ll write it the best they can and throw it up on Amazon “and see what happens.”

Those four words . . . like ten long nails scratching on a chalkboard.

I have no problem with people writing as a hobby. I encourage it, actually. I have no problem with people publishing as a hobby. I encourage that, too. But . . . when they hint that they do not have the time to do it right . . . when part-time is an excuse for not doing it thoroughly, I just want to get to a microphone and rant!

Of course, ranting to anyone is not the way to make them understand. I don’t want someone shaking their finger at me, either. So I try to educate.

I explain:

1) A book not prepared with a professional eye will not sell.
2) A book not edited hard by people other than the writer will not sell.
3) A book placed on Amazon with no steady promotion will not sell.
4) A book published without the author marketing herself will not sell.

One gentleman threw those words at me, “and see what happens,” and I simply replied, “It won’t sell.” He looked like I’d slapped him.

I smiled to ease the rift evident in his face. “Amazon, and the entire publishing world, is glutted with books. Thousands of authors are fighting to be heard, to promote, to sell, some with multiple books under their belt. Thousands of writers are fighting to make writing a career. With them clamoring every day to write and market, to blog, sign, social network, travel, how do you think a reader will find your book with you doing nothing to promote it? There are just too many books out there for that to be feasible.”

We parted friends. I hope he heard me. I really hope he didn’t spend all that time writing only to just throw it out there “and see what happens.” None of us need any more of that. As both readers and writers, we can all appreciate seeing more of the well-written, well-edited, well-marketed books.

Thanks

– Hope

Be sure to visit Hope at FUNDSFORWRITERS.COM

TWITTER – http://twitter.com/hopeclark
FACEBOOK – http://www.facebook.com/chopeclark
GOODREADS – http://www.goodreads.com/hopeclark 
BOOKBUB – https://www.bookbub.com/authors/c-hope-clark

Character Profiling

by
Charlotte Firbank-King
Ever sit in a busy mall and just watch people? If you don’t, you should. The exercise will benefit your writing—and show how important just the right word can be.

I sit outside a café, sipping my espresso. Across the way a woman runs to a somewhat unkempt, bearded man sitting on a high planter. He puts a cell phone in his worn leather jacket pocket. The woman is thin, wearing unremarkable clothes—dirty clothes, actually. Her jeans have seen better days, her shirt is wrinkled and stained. I’m guessing they’re forty-something.

I instantly put them in a box—they look a bit redneck. If she’d been fashionable, I would have called her slender, not thin. Interesting how an image—along with the words used to describe that image—can shift the image fractionally from wealthy to poor.

Then he lifts his hand. He has a Rolex watch on his wrist and his nails are manicured. He’s also wearing Gucci shoes—maybe he’s doing the planned-scruffy trend. If I’d realized that earlier, I would have used scruffy as opposed to unkempt when I first saw him. The word we choose is everything.

She still looks, well, soiled, though. Actually, more like a battered wife, I decide. But her nails are also manicured—bright red—at odds with her drab clothes. They aren’t standing close enough—so not his wife.

They don’t appear emotionally invested, at least, not as lovers.

She looks around distractedly and runs her fingers through tangled hair—she’s worried someone will see her—attack her?

Then he puts his hands on her waist. Okay, this changes things.

She has troubled, rejected, and defensive written all over her.

Got it! She’s married to an out-of-work man who beats her, and this guy is her wealthy lover. She’s afraid her husband will catch them together and kill them.

Then my story gets blown out of the water.

A twelve-year-old girl runs to them, screeching with joy and holding a puppy in the air. The woman puts a hand to her breast and laughs. The man pats the woman on the hip, and they both put their arms around the child, all three laughing.

The real story? The pup had wandered off while Child and Dad were shopping, and Child had gone off to search for it. Mum had been gardening at home when Dad phoned to tell her the pup was gone. She dropped her gardening and ran straight to the mall, not taking time to clean up first. The parents were concerned about the child’s distress if the pup wasn’t found. I called her clothes dirty, not muddied, which they were.

I had it so wrong—and all because I misinterpreted the signs. The reason I know this for sure is because when they sat near me, I came clean and asked them. Now I had all the right words and the story was clear.

The way I misinterpreted their story is exactly how a reader will misinterpret a story if we don’t give them the exact words that help them unravel the story. There are tiny insinuations behind words. Thin is different from slender—and both are different from skinny. Unkempt is different from scruffy—and both are different from frazzled.

Every single word we write needs to count—and needs to carry as much information as it can. It’s vitally important to choose the words that give the reader a good map of your story.

Editors Speak: Things that Make Our Eyes Twitch

by
The IFW Editors

A couple of weeks ago, our editors contributed to a conversation about pet peeves, which led to last week’s blog on commonly confused words. Our editors are concerned about things that happen in writing that confuse the reader or pull her/him out of the story. Following are some of the things our editors advised writers to avoid.

****

What drives me crazy is head-hopping. I’ve even seen it in published books—such as one from a best-selling author. In the middle of a dramatic scene, the main character is thinking of leaving her family and moving to the city to go to school. It was well written—until the author popped into the maid’s POV to describe what the character looked like. At that point I tossed the book across the room.

**

Personification. Or, maybe I should say unintentional personification, because sometimes writers can intentionally use personification for comedic relief or for effect. But when you’re just reading along and see something like, “his knee didn’t notice the tree limb” or “the clock smiled down from the mantle,” you just scratch your head.

**

I hate excessive “shopping lists.” He opened the suitcase and found underwear bleached sparkling white, undershirts that matched the underwear, socks in every dark color, brand-name deodorant, a razor and a replacement blade, a yellow toothbrush, mint whitening toothpaste, and the strongest mouthwash on the market. After the first two items, the reader’s eyes glaze over—if they haven’t quit reading. Decide what’s most important and never list more than three items. And, if none of them are important, skip the details!

**

Some writers fail to mention a character’s name on the first page, using “he” or “she” over and over. Perhaps they think this adds mystery or intrigue, but all it really does is prevent the reader from feeling any sort of empathy for the character.

The converse is just as distressing, such as when ten or twelve new characters are introduced by name on the first page. How on earth can we make sense of that many people, especially when we don’t know who is the main character?

**

One of my pet peeves: Long, rambling sentences that go on and on and start with one subject but end up with an entirely different subject, like a vacation that gets sidetracked because the map has a crease in it, which happened frequently before the days of cell phones and GPS devices, which have changed the world as we know it–and, perhaps, changed the subject of our sentence as well.

**

One concerning thing that drives me crazy is the tendency of some writers to find up to a zillion ways to overuse prepositions in a sentence throughout a story until the sanity of the reader begins to melt into an abyss of blackness. YIKES! Cut the insanity! Cut the prepositions!

**

Too many adjectives. And adverbs. And ellipses. And exclamation marks. And sentences that begin with conjunctions.

**

This one recently became a pet peeve of mine: using unnecessarily large (read: pretentious) adjectives. I was reading a style guide that preached “simple and direct,” but every other word was annoyingly complex or obscure. Another pet peeve is using two or three adjectives in a series—to describe a single item—but the adjectives are all synonyms.

**

It annoys me when a character “gawks”: John noticed the wind rustling the leaves of the oak tree instead of Wind rustled the leaves of the oak tree. A “gawking character” exists whenever a writer places a character between a reader and the action. Another example: Angelica heard the truck round the bend and saw it come down the street. Instead, write: Tires squealed, then a pickup sped around the bend and down the street.

**

My pet annoyance is errors in paragraphing, such as when a paragraph includes dialogue (without tags) from one character and action from another. Example:

“Hey, Pops! Want to see me do a cartwheel?” He sucked on his pipe. 

 “Can you also do a split?” She sneezed six times, then nodded.

This should be written:

“Hey, Pops! Want to see me do a cartwheel?” 

 He sucked on his pipe. “Can you also do a split?” 

 She sneezed six times, then nodded.

Then we know who is speaking.

 **

My peeve: Using “creative” dialogue tags that don’t make sense:
“It was free,” I scowled. “What more do you want?”

“Extra jelly,” she laughed.

You can’t smile, scowl or even laugh words! You can say them, scream them, and state them, amongst others. You can also say something, then smile, scowl, or laugh. But these are actions and require a sentence of their own. They are not dialogue tags!

****

We have tip sheets to address most of these situations, so if there are any you want to study in more depth, let us know and we’ll be happy to send you a tutorial.

Do you have the same pet peeves as us? Are there any annoying writing habits that aren’t on our list that you think should be? Tell us your thoughts in the comments.

Word Confusion

by
Sandy Tritt
 


QUIZ TIME! 

How’s your vocabulary feeling these days? Want to give it a quick exam?

Jessica, our amazing intern, recently livened up our Inspiration for Writers group email by asking our editors and writers to share common errors they find in manuscripts. She planned to gather them into a blog article. And, man, did our editors respond. The list of common errors grew long. In fact, it grew so long, we had to break the responses into multiple articles. So, this article will be first in a series of two (or three, or who knows?). And, to make things fun, we’ll make this one a quiz. So, put on your rubber gloves and see how you do. Don’t worry—answers will be given at the end.      

WORD CONFUSION 

1.      I pulled my car into the media/median/medium and stopped.

2.      For all my intensive purposes/intents and purposes, I still didn’t make it to the meeting on time.

3.      She took it for granite/granted that we’d be here waiting for her.

4.      If it’s any constellation/consolation, I missed five questions.

5.      Irregardless/regardless, someone has to tell her she’s dragging toilet paper.

6.      Anyone up for an expresso/espresso?

7.      All accept/exceptfor Janie, no one had a perfect score.

8.      She brought over olive oil and a crucifix to exercise/exorcise the evil spirit.

9.      See how far you can press the gas peddle/pedal.

10.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a mute/moot point.

11.  The doc said my leg pain is due to a congenial/congenital defect.

12.  In the passed/past, she would simply run faster as she passed/past the house.

13.  Can you insure/ensure me this package is ensured/insured?

14.  The chapel evoked/invoked memories of the day I had evoked/invoked the Madonna’s help.

15.  Does it look like the altar/alter cloth has been altared/altered?

16.  I always loose/lose my loose/lose change.

17.  When I told him to breath/breathe, I didn’t expect to feel his breath/breathe on my neck.

18.  It really peeks/piques/peaks my interest to peak/peek/pique at the mountain pique/peak/peek.

19.  If I could just find a place to lay/lie my bag and lay/lie down, I’d be happy.

20.  She laid/lay/lie the book on the table and laid/lay/lie down.

21.  Between/among the three of us, Jackie is the tallest.

22.  Between you and me/I, it’s getting colder in here.

23.  Is it all right/allright/alright with you if I sit in the back for awhile/a while?

24.  Who gave heroin/heroine to the heroin/heroine?

25.  How much further/farther is it?

 

Think you got them all right? Let’s find out. Here are the answers:  

1.      I pulled my car into the median and stopped.

2.      For all my intents and purposes, I still didn’t make it to the meeting on time.

3.      She took it for granted that we’d be here waiting for her.

4.      If it’s any consolation, I missed five questions.

5.      Regardless, someone has to tell her she’s dragging toilet paper.

6.      Anyone up for an espresso? (The editor who submitted this one commented that “expresso” is “espresso on steroids.”)

7.      All except for Janie, no one had a perfect score.

8.      Howard brought over olive oil and a crucifix to exorcise the evil spirit. (Unless, as the submitting editor suggested, the evil spirit was overweight and Howard was his personal trainer.)

9.      See how far you can press the gas pedal.

10.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a moot point. (The contributing editor stated she wished some points were mute.)

11.  The doc said my leg pain is due to a congenital defect.

12.  In the past, she would simply run faster as she passed the house.

13.  Can you ensure me this package is insured?

14.  The chapel evoked memories of the day I had invoked the Madonna’s help.

15.  Does it look like the altar cloth has been altered?

16.  I always lose my loose change.

17.  When I told him to breathe, I didn’t expect to feel his breath on my neck.

18.  It really piques my interest to peek at the mountain peak.

19.  If I could just find a place to lay my bag and lie down, I’d be happy. (This sentence is in present tense. “Lay” means to set or place. “Lie” means to recline.)

20.  She laid the book on the table and laydown. (This sentence is in past tense. Just a little confusing—especially since the past tense of “lie” is “lay.” Confusion between “lay” and “lie” and their conjugations is perhaps the most common error we see. Is it any wonder?)

21.  Among the three of us, Jackie is the tallest. (“Between” is used when referring to two people; “among” is used when referring to more than two. Likewise, “each other” is generally used to refer to the involvement of two people, and “one another” usually refers to the involvement of more than two people, although the lines on this one can blur in actual usage.)

22.  Between you and me, it’s getting colder in here.

23.  Is it all right with you if I sit in the back for a while? (Okay, this was a trick question. The only correct spelling—ever—in any situation—is all right and a while. I promise!)

24.  Who gave heroin to the heroine?

25.  How much farther is it? (Farther measures distance. Furtherrefers to ideas. Example: Nothing could be furtherfrom the truth.)

 

We actually had over 50 contributions for this list. Here’s a bonus comment from one of our editors:  “My personal favorites are manger instead of manager; that makes me giggle. And then there’s public without the ‘L,’ which makes my eyeballs roll.”

We had fun compiling this list of confusing words, and I hope you had equal fun taking our little quiz. Many times, even though we know the right word, our fingers take on a life of their own and type in the wrong word. Worse, our brain knows what we meant, so it doesn’t throw up any flags to tell us we’ve erred. This is why even professional editors have another editor review their work. And we’re always here to review yours (see http://www.inspirationforwriters.com/editing/services.html for more information).


If you have any questions about any of these usages, please just leave a comment and we’ll be happy to clarify. And, finally, what words do you confuse? Let us know in a comment below.

Happy writing!

Word Origins (Part Two)

by
Jessica Nelson



Last week, I posted a blog on the origins of a variety of words and phrases. This week, I’m continuing that article, because I’m total word nerd.

Just for fun, I’m going to list some common phrases—at least ones I’m most familiar with—and their origins, based on the findings of Robert Crum, Robert MacNeil, and William Cran as written in their book, The Story of English, and filling in the blanks with information from the uber-useful OED (Oxford English Dictionary) online (oed.com). This is part two of a two part blog.

 
From African languages:

For this first set, the book does not explain origins other than to say they came from African languages. A little research in the OED gives us more information, however.

·         voodoo – from the Dahomey word vodu. (A type of religious practice by blacks in Haiti, the West Indies, and southern America). New Orleans voodoo is similar but has different origins.

·         banjo – a corruption of the African word bandore. (An instrument similar to a guitar)

·         bad-mouth – originated as an African American colloquialism and is now fairly common. (To talk badly about someone)

·         high five – OED doesn’t have much to say about this one. (To slap palms with someone else, generally in celebration)

·         jam session – Again, OED doesn’t have much to say about this one, either, other than that it emerged from the jazz age. (An informal meeting of musicians to play music generally after a formal show ended)

·         nitty gritty – OED says they are uncertain of the origins of this one, but it was an African American colloquialism. (Used in the phrase “getting down to the nitty gritty,” meaning to get down to the essentials or the hard work)

 

This next set still does not have a particular etymology in The Story of English other than that the words and phrases developed and were appropriated from Black English over the years. (“Black English” is Crum’s, McNeill’s, and Cran’s terminology. By my best approximation, it refers to the English that developed out of African/English creoles in places where English was/is the dominant language, such as the United States and England. This is different from an “African English” which would encompass the variations in an English spoken as a second or third language in African countries.) According to the OED, for most of these entries, the individual words themselves have an etymology outside of African languages, but the way/context in which we use these words/phrases developed out of Black (generally American) English. The OED isn’t positive where or when exactly these phrases originated; it only gives conjectures.

·         rock’n’roll (a type of music)

·         jazz (a type of music)

·         blues (a type of music)

·         the spiritual (a type of music)

·         ragtime (a type of music)

·         jive (a type of music)

·         rhythm and blues (a type of music)

·         cakewalk (originally a dance, now used to describe something that is easy to do.)

·         jitterbug (a type of dance)

·         break dancing (a type of dance)

·         cool (use in slang to mean something is “awesome”)

·         “doing your own thing” (this one is self-explanatory)

·         flappers (used to describe the white “downtown” women who would come to Harlem to listen to the jazz musicians)

·         beat (meaning “exhausted”)

·         chick (meaning “girl”)

·         “have a ball” (to enjoy yourself)

·         hype (“persuasive talk,” now meaning to talk something up)

·         “in the groove” (doing something without deviation)

·         “latch on” (take hold of something)

·         mellow (“all right” or “fine”)

·         sharp (as in “looking sharp,” meaning to look neat or smart)

·         fierce (a way to mean “good”)

 

Now we get into words and phrases that developed out of technological innovations. As new inventions in transportation became widespread, the vocabulary that went with them diffused into the everyday language.

 From steamboats:

·         “letting off steam” – originally referred to literally letting steam off (or out) of the boilers so they wouldn’t explode. Now we use it to refer to doing an activity that releases excess energy or pent up emotions.

·         riffraff – originally referred to people who floated down the rivers on rafts they steered with oars (called riffs). Now it means people of a lower social class, synonymous with rabble. According to the OED, this term has its origins in, or is at least closely related to, the French rifrafor the Danish ripsraps.

·         high falutin’ – referred to people wealthy enough to travel on steamboats, and came from the fact steamboats had tall, flute-shaped stacks that kept smoke and cinders away from the passengers. Now it is used slightly condescendingly to refer to someone who is bombastic or pretentious (OED).

·         hogwash – originally referred to the water left after washing pigs before they boarded boats. According to the OED, this word is related to pigswill, but only in the context in which hogwash means “kitchen scraps or refuse.” In another context, it means a drink that is really bad, like nasty beer. As an American colloquialism, it means “worthless nonsense.”

 

From poker (which traveled up and down the Mississippi on the steamboats):

·         “you bet” or “ bet you” – originally American slang; was a standard affirmative phrase and still is. “Bet you” is used to informally mean, in one case, that you believe you are right and someone else is wrong (or some other situation that involves believing one thing over something else but not being sure which is really correct/true).

·         “put up or shut up” – an American colloquialism, it’s an admonition to “take action.”

·         bluffing – while the word “bluff” itself has a much longer etymology, to bluff—or to pretend like something is one way when it’s not in order to trick someone else—is wholly American.

·         “call [your] bluff” – an Americanism meaning to call someone out for bluffing or to state they were bluffing and thereby reveal the “truth” (“truth” being a relative term).

·         “passing the buck” – originally, “buck” in this phrase referred to a buckhorn-handled knife placed in front of the dealer that players in poker passed along if they did not want to deal the next hand. It now means to pass the blame to someone else.

·         poker face – used generally to mean a passive expression that hides a person’s true emotions

·         “cards stacked against you” – means the odds of the game are not in your favor. Generally, though, it means that things aren’t going your way or in your favor.

·         “an ace up one’s sleeve” – means to have an advantage that you’ve managed to keep hidden.

·         “hit the jackpot” –  a “jackpot” is “in draw-poker, a pot or pool that has to accumulate until one of the players can open the betting with a pair of jacks or better” (from the OED). Now, to “hit the jackpot” means to have a great stroke of luck or to win a big prize (the “pot”).

·         “follow suit” – originally, “to play a card of the same suit as the leading card” from which we get its current meaning “to do the same thing as somebody or something else” (from the OED).

·        “wild card” – “Of a playing card: having any rank chosen by the player holding it” (as called by the dealer) (OED), which has evolved to refer to something that one is not sure about or that lies outside normal circumstances.

 

From the railroads:

·         railroaded – in its very first incarnation, “railroaded” was extremely similar to the first definition of “right of way,” which was the railroad company’s right to build tracks through private land as part of eminent domain. So to be “railroaded” was to have the railroad literally built across your land with no consideration to you. Not long after, it came to mean to falsely convict someone, but now the term commonly means to coerce someone.

·         sidetracked – according to the OED, in train-related jargon, this originally meant to move a train into the side track so another train could pass, but by the 1890s this word meant to divert attention or lose focus.

·         streamlining – this term now means to slim down or make something more efficient (OED).

·         gravy train – this term was coined during the presidential race of 1948 between Harry Truman and Thomas Dewey (during which they visited cities using trains as their primary transportation). Now we use it to mean easily gained financial success.

·         to make the grade – originally meant “to keep the track level”; now this phrase means to reach the standard or to be successful (OED).

·         to have the right of way – this phrase originally meant (and still can mean) “the right to build and operate a railway line, road, or public utility on land belonging to another, esp. the state.” Now, we’re more likely to use this phrase to mean “the right or ability to travel along a given thoroughfare in the face of the claims of other road users; spec. the legal right of a pedestrian, rider, or driver to proceed with precedence over other road users at a specific point or in a particular situation.” (OED)

·         to backtrack – originally referred to train tracks “lying or leading towards the rear” (OED), but now we use it to mean to retrace our steps or retreat.

·         to go off the rails – originally referred to “derailing,” or when a train somehow ended up off its tracks; now it’s a colloquialism that means to lose one’s ability to understand or cope.

 

All the words and phrases from steamboats, poker, and railroads are all noted in the OED as Americanisms. Even though the words themselves likely have other etymologies, the way in which we use them did not exist until these innovations in technology came into being. And our language evolved to encompass these new inventions.

It still astounds me the way language is constantly in flux—eternally changing. Every day old words take on new meanings, and new words seem to miraculously pop into existence. Words like “selfie” didn’t exist a decade ago. Does anyone remember when “apple” referred to the fruit and not an electronics brand?

Some call this the corruption or devolution of language, but I believe it’s natural for language to change. If it didn’t, we’d still be speaking like Shakespeare!

Are there any word evolutions that surprised you? Are there any you know that didn’t appear on this list? Tell us in the comments.

Word Origins (Part One)

by
Jessica Nelson



Every culture has its colloquialisms. In an English Language class I’m taking, I recently learned that a lot of words, idioms, and other phrases in the English language have their origins in other languages or in particular cultural movements. These words become part of the everyday lexicon (“the vocabulary or word-stock of a region, a particular speaker, etc.” from the Oxford English Dictionary online), and we no longer consider what they may have originally meant or where they came from. For me, it’s fascinating how certain words make themselves at home in a language not originally their own—so at home we consider them to be native.

Just for fun, I’m going to list some common phrases—at least ones I’m most familiar with—and their origins, based on the findings of Robert Crum, Robert MacNeil, and William Cran as written in their book, The Story of English and filling in the blanks with information from the uber-useful OED online (Oxford English Dictionary, oed.com). This will be part one of a two part blog.

 
From World War II:

·         blitz – as in “blitz attack” comes from the German blitzkrieg.
 
·         snafu – originally an American military acronym for “situation normal, all f’ed up.”
 
·         honcho – as in, “Who’s the head honcho on this project?” was appropriated from Japanese, where it meant “squad leader.”

 

From the Korean War: 

·         brainwashing – the book gives no etymology, but rather cites the Korean War as the point at which this word entered the common lexicon. The OED (Oxford English Dictionary) says that brainwashing is an American word compounded from the words brain and wash (obviously), but may be modelled on the Chinese xǐ nǎo (xǐ  meaning “wash” and nǎo meaning “brain”).

 

From the Church or the original Bible (Latin, Greek, and Hebrew): 

·         angel – from angelos, meaning “messenger.” The book doesn’t specify which of the languages angelos is from. According to the OED, this derivation is from the Latin angelus (an alternate spelling), but keeps the meaning of “messenger” from its Greek counterpart ἄγγελ-ος. (Brownie points to anyone who can read Greek!)
 
·         devil – from diabolos, meaning “slanderer,” where diabolos (or diabolus) is a Latinate translation of the Greek word for slanderer.
 
·         gospel – originally from the Latin evangelium, which became the English god-spell, later combined and shortened to what is now gospel.
From Thomas More (an English author, philosopher, and statesman): 

·         More supposedly coined the words:

o   absurdity
o   contradictory
o   exaggerate
o   monopoly
o   paradox  

However, the OED can trace the etymology (or “The facts relating to the origin of a particular word or the historical development of its form and meaning; the origin of a particular word”) for all these words. (The etymologies on these are long, so I won’t use them here.) In the case of words like absurdity and contradictory, Thomas More was not the first to use them, but he was one of the first. However, in the cases of exaggerate, monopoly, and paradox, More is credited with their first written use. In other words, he may have coined them, but that doesn’t mean he made them.

 

From Native Americans (North America): 

·        plants like hickory (a shortening of pohickery) and pecan (from pakani)
 
·        animals like chipmunk and moose
 
·        moccasin – from the Powhatan mockasins, a type of shoe that used to be particular to Native Americans, but have become relatively mainstream.
 
·        igloo – an Eskimo dwelling made of compacted snow blocks.
 
·        pow-wow – a variation of powwaw, originally meant a priest or medicine man. It quickly adapted to refer to a ceremony involving magic, but now it is generally used to refer to a gathering.

 

From French: 

·         gopher – from the French word gaupher which means “honeycomb.” This word was apparently applied to the animal we know as a gopher because its digging pattern resembled honeycomb. In recent modern English, gopher or gofer (go-for) is someone who is sent to retrieve things for other people.

 
From Dutch: 

·         poppycock – usually used to mean something that is said is silly or wrong, poppycock comes from the Dutch pappekak which means “soft-dung.” (So it’s a nice way of calling BS.)
 
·         boss – this comes from a mix of Dutch and Black English, primarily from Surinam creole (Surinam was a Dutch colony). In the Surinam creole, bosswas an alternate term for “master.”

 

From Scots-Irish:

These phrases come from the early days of Scots-Irish settlement in America, particularly in Appalachia. 

·         “so drunk he couldn’t hit the wall with a handful of beans” – similar to the phrase “couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn,” this phrase means that someone is so drunk that their hand-eye coordination is practically nonexistent.
 
·         “an axe to grind” – means you have a problem with or a grudge against someone or something.
 
·         “sat on the fence” – later shortened to “on the fence,” meaning that you won’t choose a side on a issue or decision.
 
·         “go whole hog” – meaning, “to go all in,” or not to hold anything back.

 

From Gaelic/Irish: 

·         banshee – we understand this word in English to mean a supernatural creature, generally associated with a terrible screaming. Bansheehas English equivalent, but it literally means “fairy woman” in Gaelic.

·         keening –  means a sharp wailing and is a variation of the word keeny, which is “to wail.”

·         brogue – currently used to refer to an Irish or Scottish accent, this word originally comes from the Irish word bróg, which means “shoe.” To quote the text, “the Irishman was said to speak with ‘a shoe on his tongue.’”

·         galore – an English take on the Irish word go leór, meaning “sufficient.”

·         shenanigan – means “mischief” or “trickery.” This comes from the Irish word sionnachuighim which means “I play tricks.”

 

Fascinating, isn’t it? Or maybe I’m just a huge word nerd. Before this, I thought I knew quite a bit about the English language: I knew it borrowed and adapted a lot of words like tortilla (Spanish) and beret (French), but I never realized just how much of our language is comprised of words from languages across the globe. Believe it or not, there are still tons more words out there that we consider “English” but came from somewhere else.

Next week, I’m going to explore the contribution of Black English to the Standard English lexicon, and how the innovations in technology created a new vocabulary of (mostly) Americanisms that are now common phrases.

Did the origins of any of these words surprise you? Know any words commonly thought of as “English” that come from another language? Tell us in the comments!

Novel, Memoir, or Biography?

by
Sandy Tritt

Confused about the differences between a novel, a memoir, and a biography? Maybe we can help clear up the mystery. 

First, a memoir and a biography are both true accounts based upon what happened to a person. A biography is a history of a person. It tells when he was born and to whom, what happened in his childhood, and discusses every major event in his life. If a person writes a biography about himself, it’s called an autobiography.

A memoir, on the other hand, focuses on one aspect of a person’s life, such as his struggle with alcoholism or his quest to become President. Whereas a biography gives facts and is generally written as a narrative, a memoir is considered creative nonfiction and reads more like a novel, which is fiction (made up).

Both memoir and novel use scenes to act out the story with dialogue and action instead of simply telling what happened.

Even though a memoir is considered a true story, it is impossible for most humans to remember verbatim every word spoken throughout their lives. Therefore, the most important thing is that the memoir recreate the emotional honesty of conversations and situations. It is permissible to make up the actual words spoken.

It is also permissible to change the names and descriptions of the people you want to include in your memoir. If you do this, you should put a disclaimer on your copyright page stating that “names and/or likenesses have been changed for privacy.” However, if your memoir reveals unflattering things about a person who is still alive (or who still has close family), you may want to consult an attorney before publishing. As a general rule, if someone is a celebrity, you may mention his or her name and reveal something about him as long as it’s true or reflects positively on him. If a person is not a celebrity, you may not use his name or likeness without his written permission because a non-celebrity has a right to privacy.

If you think you cannot tell your full story for fear of retribution or embarrassment or a lawsuit, you may want to fictionalize your story. This gives you more leeway in telling your story. You can add in situations that did not actually occur or you can add in people who did not actually live. You simply write a novel—which is defined as fictitious prose—instead of a memoir. As long as it still reveals the emotional truth of your situation, you can claim it is “based upon a true story.”

If you aren’t certain how to move forward, email me at IFWeditors@gmail.com to schedule a complimentary 30-minute telephone or Skype conversation to discuss how you can best present your story. We’re always here to help.